7 Lies Christian Women Believe

As I write this post, I am in the midst of a familiar battle.  This battle rages not on worldly fields, but in the darkest parts of my mind.  The lies and doubts come from every angle.

Let’s face it.

Almost all women, even Christian women, are bombarded with a plethora of worldly messages on a daily basis that seek to steal our joy and assurance.

These post- modern, New Age subtleties infiltrate every crevice of our existence from the billboard on the freeway, to the pop-up ad invading our simple attempt to check an email.

It’s no wonder that many completely innocent, well-meaning Christian women fall prey to the negativity that IS this fallen world and start to slowly develop a secular worldview instead of a Christ-centered one.

Let’s put on our armor of God, ladies, and stop the deceiver in his tracks!

Here are the top 7 lies I’ve personally seen Christian women accept as truth.

Lie #7:  My Value Is In My Appearance.

It’s a common ritual.  Women of all ages immerse themselves in the world of cosmetics, wrinkle cream, spray tans and teeth brightening.  Now that I think about it, I know very few women, myself included, who don’t want to look thinner, younger and better.  So is it sinful to take pride in our outward shell?  Should we all throw our makeup out the proverbial window and go au naturale?

And, if our value isn’t in our appearance, then what does God value?

I Peter 3:3-4, says, “Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

What I find interesting in this verse is that God is clear that what matters in life is NOT our outward appearance.  Isn’t that refreshing?  I love how we as women are encouraged to adorn or arrange ourselves with a gentle and quiet spirit.

Hard for this loud mouthed diva??

Yes!  But oh so beautiful!

Similarly, Proverbs 31:30 reminds us that “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. “

The simple truth?  God values who we are as His child WORLDS more than He values our outward beauty.  I don’t think He is saying in these verses for us to be slobs or to abandon our hygiene, but it seems clear to me in Scripture that His definition of beauty is far different than the one we hear in the world.

Your Reality:  Love yourself, wrinkles, cellulite, pimples and all!  Your value is in your being; not your body.

 

Lie #6:  Submission Is Slavery.

One of the hardest parts of the Bible for some women to read is Ephesians 5:21-33.  As Paul writes to the church of Ephesus, he is clear that there is a definite family structure.  This ideal familial structure calls for the tabooed submission of wives to their husbands.

Needless to say, this idea isn’t a popular one in our modern world of women’s liberation.  I’ve heard many women describe the notion of submitting to their husbands as demeaning, subservient and even slave-like.  But, this couldn’t be further from the will of God!

Paul begins in verse 21 by saying “Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ.” Submission is commanded from BOTH males and females and is viewed as a positive attribute of a healthy family structure.

Yes, it clearly states that women are to submit to their husbands, but this submission isn’t servanthood.  In fact, if you read on in verse 25, Paul defines what this model looks like when he states, “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.”

Submission at its core is protection of women and love in a way that can only be compared to Christ’s love for the church!  It isn’t a put down and it certainly isn’t violent or abusive.

BIG disclaimer:  This model in no way encourages women to submit their will to anyone who is abusive or violent.  This Biblical principle is a mandate to both women AND men to be loving and kind, a concept that when it was written was both RADICAL and REVOLUTIONARY in its treatment of women.

Think about it:  in every structural unit there is a hierarchy of leadership.  No successful business runs without it.  There aren’t 45 Bill Gates’s or Sam Waltons.  The key to a successful business, just like in a family, is how the leader interacts with those whom they lead.

My Confession:  Submission is difficult for me.  I’m a natural born leader and I don’t want Mike telling me to do anything.  But, I have learned (and it has taken years) that when I do lovingly submit to his authority at times when we disagree, he almost always listens to my point of view and tries to make a decision that is best for our entire family. Its almost like my submission encourages his spiritual growth!

Who wouldn’t want a man who is striving to lead in a God-like manner?  His gentle leadership is a sign of his love for me, just as my submission is to him.

Try it ladies, and don’t view submission as a sign of your weakness.  It takes a strong woman to submit to a loving man of God.

Lie #5:  Serving the Lord is Something I Can do When Life Slows Down.

Our twenties, thirties and forties are some of the busiest times in our lives. I can’t count how many mission opportunities I’ve turned down because I’m, just too busy.  And truthfully, we must guard our time and make sure that every minute is used wisely.  We simply can’t do it all!

But listen to what God’s Word says about this evangelistic complacency:   John 4:35.  “Don’t you have a saying, “It’s still four months until harvest?  I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields!  They are ripe for harvest.”

Be careful, ladies, when you ignore the still, small voice of God prodding you to a certain task or ministry that perfectly matches your spiritual gifts.   Yes, we are all busy.  But, sometimes opportunities only come once.  Try bringing your kids along on ministry journeys.  Go to the homeless shelter together!  Serve as a teacher in their classes at church!  You’ll already be there anyway, right?

But, do not believe the lie of the devil that says its acceptable to dismiss the voice of God when we are mommies, wives, and career seekers.  God’s voice is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and if your life is too busy to fit Him in, something needs to be re-prioritized (and it isn’t Him).

Lie #4:  My Occupation Defines Me.

Our culture proclaims we can have it all: faith, family, marriage AND a career.  In this world of “we can do anything,” I fear that sometimes women feel that they MUST do and be all things to all people which simply isn’t true.

In Matthew 6: 25-34, Jesus says, “Do not worry about what you will eat or drink. Consider the birds of the air who do not sow or reap but God provides. “

The message?  There are more important things on which to set our minds besides our careers!

So women should never pursue their own dreams while providing for their families, right?  WRONG.   But I do believe that this verse plainly says that material THINGS like houses, cars and careers if not God-centered, aren’t why we were put on this planet!

Do what you can.  Be your very best.  But in the end, set your mind on the eternal instead of the temporal.

Give your career its due diligence, but whatever you do, don’t give it

your worship.

Lie #3:  My Child’s/Spouse’s Failures Are Also Mine.

No matter how hard we try, failures are inevitable.  While it is easy to judge those around us and blame other people’s inadequacies on our perceived inability to be a better mother, spouse, etc., at the end of the day we are only accountable for our own actions.

Its hard.

Life is hard.

Your children and spouse may fail you, but it doesn’t mean that they or YOU are a failure.  It means we are carnal beings and we mess up.

At your lowest moments, remember 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18.  “So we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”

Lie #2:  A Man Completes Me.

Uh…no.  I’m going to say it…

As hard as it may be to hear, there might NOT be a soul mate waiting for you.

In fact, I Corinthians 7:8 says it is better to stay unmarried.  But why?

As a single woman, I struggled with these verses in a mighty way.  I WANTED to be married and felt like my number one goal in life was to find a godly man to complete my perfect little Christian life.

Really, I can’t even put into words how much my heart yearned for a husband.  I clung to Psalms 37:4 knowing that if I delighted in the Lord He would give me the desires of my heart.  In other words, He would give me a man.  And He did…

But, once I was married and especially after I had a child, I really understood the verses in I Corinthians and my eyes were opened.

You see, if I am completely honest, I was a much more effective Christian when I was single.  When I was single, every ounce of my being revolved around missions, evangelism and worship.  It wasn’t intentional, but as a married woman and a mommy, my devotion was split. I simply didn’t have as much time or emotional energy to devote to my callings.

Sure, I could still serve Him and I did, but the reality was that my husband and child took a very large portion of my time.  And rightly so!

The times in my life when I felt the most completely sold out for Christ were during my single years.

But, I also know that God KNEW my heart and sent a godly man to me.  I just wish I had spent less time focused on finding him during those single years and more time seeking HIM.

The simple truth?  You might DESIRE a man.  You might LOVE a man.  But, you don’t NEED a man.  You only need Jesus and He can fulfill the deepest longings in your heart.  And He just have plans for you that don’t involve marriage.

For those struggling in this area right now, I encourage you to hold tight to Philippians 4:19-20:  “And my God will fully supply your every need according to His glorious riches in the Messiah.”

Lie #1:  I Must Balance it All to be Worthy.

Isaiah 64: 6 says “All our righteous acts are like filthy rags.”  This verse brings me so much joy!  No matter how hard I try, I will NEVER, EVER be GOOD enough to earn God’s love.

But, here is the glorious part, ladies, so don’t miss it!

In spite of our flaws and weaknesses, He CHOSE to love us anyway!  You don’t have to be the president of PTO, the children’s choir director at church, fix a five-course meal, and do everyone’s laundry with pristine flawlessness to be loved by our Savior.

In fact, Psalm 27: 7 commands us to, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”  So take this to heart, ladies.

Go right now, get in that tub of hot water, soak your toesies and be still before your Maker.  Let Him wrap you in his beautiful arms and hold you.  He doesn’t expect perfection and you don’t have to do ANYTHING to earn his love.  Its right there for the taking.

My prayer is that you will find comfort and joy from the truth of God’s Word and stop believing the lies of the devil.  He wants to trip you up and convince you that right is wrong and wrong is right.  Don’t fall for it!  Stay READ up and PRAYED up and give your worries to the Maker of Peace.

Blessings to all!