Finding Beauty in Our Brokenness

¹⁹ Gideon and the hundred men with him reached the edge of the camp at the beginning of the middle watch, just after they had changed the guard. They blew their trumpets and broke the jars that were in their hands.”  Judges 7:19

I’ve heard the story of Gideon many times before.   Gideon was called to fight the bad guys, he doubted his abilities, God equipped him, men lapped water like doggies, they blew a horn, and the battle was won.  Yay!

But, in all my years of Vacation Bible School and devotional readings, I’m embarrassed to say that there was a very important nugget of truth that I seemingly glossed right over in that infamous story.

The broken jars.

Isn’t it amazing that no matter how many times you read a passage in God’s Word, something new and vibrant can be revealed at just the moment you need it?

Well, this is exactly what happened to me.

Lately, I’ve felt broken.  I’ve had some bumps in the road that have zapped the life juice right out of me.

Family problems, work conflicts, health scares, family member diagnoses, you name it.

To be honest, it’s been overwhelming and hard for me to comprehend how a loving God could bring these plagues upon me.

But, when reading this all too familiar story a little while ago, I noticed something profound that has really helped me understand why I might be facing hardships.

Here’s the quick recap.

Gideon is going to fight the bad, bad Midianites.  He gives his men (whittled down to 300 against over 100,00 enemies, I might add) two weapons of warfare:  a trumpet and a clay jar with a torch inside.  Hardly traditional weapons for such an important battle.

The soldiers scattered around the Midianite camp in the middle of the night and when Gideon gave the order, they blew their horns, broke the jars and triumphantly held up their torches.

Utterly confused and bewildered, the Midianites started killing (get this…) each other!

Gideon and the Israelites won the battle with only 300 people!  Go Israel!

But did you catch how they won?

Oh, don’t miss this!

Beautiful, perfectly formed jars had to be broken.

THE VICTORY WAS IN THE BROKENNESS. 

Do you hear this, sweet ladies?  Those jars were CREATED to be broken.  And God’s purpose for you might be in the brokenness.

Why resist the will of God?

Can you imagine if the clay jar artisan suddenly protested his beautiful jars being broken and demanded that they sit on a shelf instead of going into battle?

It would sound ridiculous knowing what we know, huh?

But, there was a bigger purpose for those jars that required them to be broken, even if the artisan didn’t get it at the time!

And maybe this is you…

I now realize that part of my spiritual purpose is to glorify God in my brokenness.  It is in this brokenness ladies, that I have intimately experienced the true nature of my God.

You see, He is my God in the good times and I can feel Him then.

When my daughter was born.

On my wedding day.

Most importantly on the day I gave my life to Jesus, all those years ago.

But, ladies, don’t overlook this difficult truth.

He is still my God in the bad times. 

At my lowest.

When the world around me crumbles.

When I struggle with depression.

When major health problems force me to face my own mortality.

When nothing makes sense.

HE IS STILL GOD.

His love for me doesn’t change, but often, I do.

I have learned in those suffocating times of brokenness just how weak my faith is.

I am a fair-weather Christian.

I only trust Him when He is answering my prayers the way I want.  At the first sign of turmoil, though, I often tuck tail and hide.

I am ashamed, but I am ready to change.

My purpose, I believe, is to be broken, so that like that torch in a jar,  He can shine through me!

I don’t need to stay whole.

I can be broken and still serve Him.  It is only in my brokenness, friends, that He can make me whole.

When people on this Earth betrayed me, He was there.

He held me and was my shelter.

He comforted me and became the Great Physician.

And these, my friends, are attributes of God I would never have known had I not felt pain.

I would have never known what it felt like for Him to be betrayed by those He loved the most had I not been betrayed myself.

I would not have truly understood His loneliness and anguish at Gethsemane if I hadn’t been alone with only Him to run to.

And I certainly did not fully understand His sacrifice on Calvary until I felt the effects of sin first hand in my own life.

So today, ladies, as strange as it sounds, I am thankful for my brokenness.  I am thankful for my pain.

I realize now that this sin-scarred life just sometimes stinks, and that’s ok.

But, oh take heart, my precious friends.  He has overcome the world!

Thank you Jesus!